Day 52 – Thinspiration

While yesterday was a shit day, I have to admit that today was rather nice and relaxing.  That’s the first in a long time when it comes to work honestly.  My eating was way better as well though I am supposed to go eat with my sis tonight since we haven’t hung out in, it seems like, FOREVER!  She’s wanting Vietnamese or Thai food so I’ve no idea what is healthy at places like that because I never eat at them.  Hopefully I can find something not too bad for me.  Maybe I should research it before I head out….

I have a confession to make….I have been smoking cigarettes for the last week!  UGH!!  See what the stress of this job has led me too?!??  What’s sad about this is that I had been smoke free since August 2013, after having smoked for 10 years.  Well…I would have a cig every now and again but like every once in a blue moon and only 1.  It’s crazy how I can notice the difference in breathing just from climbing the stairs at work.  Yeah going up to the 6th floor using the stairs always had me breathing fast when I got to the top, but now I find that I start huffin and puffin before I get to the 4th floor.  Cigarettes are NO BUENO!!

Did another 1hr and 7min, 3 mile walk this morning.  I’ve been trying to keep up the pace since I’ve not done the ST since Monday.  I am still feeling a bit like this whole thing is pointless.  I know that that thought process is what causes people to fuck up and stop pushing forward towards their goals so I’m trying really hard to keep from falling all the way off the wagon.  Sadly all I keep thinking about is how I’m so afraid I’m not going to meet my goal this weekend and it’s even crossed my mind to fast for a day or 2 to psychologically take control of my craziness.  Not sure that is possible though given that I loooooove food.  So instead I pout and think pessimistic thoughts about how I’m still gonna be a Fatty McFatkins when I go to Scotland and not be able to fit into the sit on the airplane.  Obviously if I don’t get my mind back in the game that could easily be the case, so STEP IT UP STEPHANIE!!  KWITCHURBITCHIN!!!


5 thoughts on “Day 52 – Thinspiration

  1. This is so inspiring. I hope to get to this level of control and ease. Don’t beat yourself up about the cigs! You’ll cut them out, you know whats right for you and your body. Keep pushing and strap yourself down to that wagon! Its a challenge to get back on, just remember that. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Heyyy now..
    You have to stop being so hard on yourself. The hardest obstacle on a fitness journey is the mental shit. You’ve gotta stop calling yourself names and punishing yourself. Would you call your sister those names or tell her those things? NOPE.
    I believe in you, just figure out another stress outlet. Hop on here and vent, take a relaxing bath. Light some candles and shit. You got this!!

    Liked by 1 person

Wha'cha wanna say??

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s